It all started with a dream. Like Kevin Costner in the movie Field of Dreams, it was a dream that set me on a life-altering course with radical implications.
Sitting in a lone rocking chair, the room's sparse furnishings did nothing to diminish my sense of well being. I was at peace, at peace in an unknown country holding an unknown child. As I closed the book I was reading to him, he closed his big brown eyes and gently laid his dark-skinned head against my chest.
It was then that I heard the words, the words that would forever change my life.
He is yours.
Upon hearing those three simple words, I awoke from my dream.
Currently I'm about fifty miles from normal. And that's okay; I'm just so tired of normal. Tired of suffocating financially. Tired of self-absorption. Tired of being a spiritual consumer--an observer, not a participant.
And so after four daughters, three miscarriages, and one emergency complete hysterectomy, I know that our family is not yet complete.
He is yours.
Although the dream was a couple of years ago, we know the timing is "now." We are in the middle of the adoption process, awaiting a child referral. The waiting is hard and our child constantly ask, "When is my brother coming home?"
I know I was created for so much more than the American dream. I no longer desire to live in comfort. I want to participate in what's real, what's lasting, what matters. And while I don't know how God will provide the necessary adoption expenses, I know that He will.
I'm living in a new reality, living an adoption story that will climax when I meet my son face-to-face. My heart aches to hold him as I did in my dream, to gaze into his beautiful brown eyes, to discover his uniqueness that God created especially for him. How can you miss someone so much that you've never even met?
There is a constant echo in the back of my mind, an echo that will ring out for all eternity. He is yours.
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